Post by dobbie on Jun 13, 2006 9:00:43 GMT -5
Bush Declares War on Dictator Switkowski's Nuclear Aspirations
US armed forces were searching the maps yesterday after news that crazed dictator Ziggy Switkowski had nuclear aspirations. A leaked CIA report claims that the third world leader had “got rid of” 30,000 of his subjects during his reign of an evil empire called Telstra, but investigators have no knowledge of where they went, where Telstra is, and what happened to his accomplice Ted Pretty.
It took a late night, reverse charge phone call to his best friend John Howard to put Mr Bush right on the facts. Mr Howard said he had heard of Ziggy but he was fairly certain that he was one of the Teletubbies, but Tony Blair might have a clearer idea.
The next morning Mr Howard remembered that Ziggy Switkowski is the qualified nuclear physicist he has appointed as head of an unbiased panel of other nuclear physicists, to produce a balanced report entitled “Why we need nuclear power and when can we have it please”.
Nuclear power is proving to be highly controversial, particularly around the question of nuclear waste. “I've already overspent my budget” said NSW Premier Morris Minor. “I don't want spent nuclear fuel as well!”
Mr Switkowski said today that Australia is perfect for nuclear power because reactors can be placed away from civilisation, such as in Sydney's south western suburbs.
The government is said to be considering the Westinghouse AP-1000 nuclear reactor, although models by Zanussi, Bosch and Fisher & Paykel are also under consideration. A call to a Harvey Norman store last night confirmed that they have no nuclear reactors in stock, but they might have some at their Lakemba branch.
The prospect of wider availability of enriched uranium is great news for President Mahmud Ahmadi-Nejad of Iran, who was having supply difficulties and had resorted to plans for a “dirty bomb”, powered by coal.
US armed forces were searching the maps yesterday after news that crazed dictator Ziggy Switkowski had nuclear aspirations. A leaked CIA report claims that the third world leader had “got rid of” 30,000 of his subjects during his reign of an evil empire called Telstra, but investigators have no knowledge of where they went, where Telstra is, and what happened to his accomplice Ted Pretty.
It took a late night, reverse charge phone call to his best friend John Howard to put Mr Bush right on the facts. Mr Howard said he had heard of Ziggy but he was fairly certain that he was one of the Teletubbies, but Tony Blair might have a clearer idea.
The next morning Mr Howard remembered that Ziggy Switkowski is the qualified nuclear physicist he has appointed as head of an unbiased panel of other nuclear physicists, to produce a balanced report entitled “Why we need nuclear power and when can we have it please”.
Nuclear power is proving to be highly controversial, particularly around the question of nuclear waste. “I've already overspent my budget” said NSW Premier Morris Minor. “I don't want spent nuclear fuel as well!”
Mr Switkowski said today that Australia is perfect for nuclear power because reactors can be placed away from civilisation, such as in Sydney's south western suburbs.
The government is said to be considering the Westinghouse AP-1000 nuclear reactor, although models by Zanussi, Bosch and Fisher & Paykel are also under consideration. A call to a Harvey Norman store last night confirmed that they have no nuclear reactors in stock, but they might have some at their Lakemba branch.
The prospect of wider availability of enriched uranium is great news for President Mahmud Ahmadi-Nejad of Iran, who was having supply difficulties and had resorted to plans for a “dirty bomb”, powered by coal.