Post by Flash on Dec 13, 2006 17:23:41 GMT -5
So, Pauline's an alien in the US
By Paul Syvret
December 12, 2006 12:00am
UNITED States immigration policy works after all.
The country that brought us Guantanamo Bay, Homeland Security and the Iraq war seems to have got something right at last.
For, in their wisdom, US immigration authorities have apparently decided Australia's serial ratbag, Pauline Hanson, is an undesirable alien. The irony is just beautiful.
In fact I have been smiling all day since reading news reports that the firebrand political failure is having the mother of all battles getting a visa to the US so she can spend Christmas in Manhattan.
This had something to do with her stint in jail for electoral fraud apparently (although, to be fair, her conviction was overturned on appeal – even if her myriad other offences against the fabric of Australian society remain unpunished).
"I was furious when I found out – absolutely furious.
"I might even have to have my fingerprints taken before they will let me in," she said.
Really Pauline?
Is this the same woman who just last week suggested that black South Africans were coming into Orstraya and spreading disease?"We're bringing in people from South Africa at the moment, there's a huge amount coming into Australia, who have diseases, they've got AIDS," she said when announcing she was considering standing as a candidate in the next federal election.
(By the way Pauline, you're either being dumb or disingenuous, but Australian immigration authorities conduct extensive medical checks – including HIV/AIDS screening – as part of any residency application.)
Anyway, on Hanson's logic not only should US Immigration fingerprint her, but probably take blood and tissue samples, and also conduct a full body cavity search for good measure. Can't be too careful when it comes to foreigners after all.
What else was it she said last week? Oh, that's right: "We've got to look very seriously at the people that we bring here, that they will not create social incohesion (sic)."
Good point Pauline.
On that note perhaps I should mail transcripts of some of your more paranoid delusions to the US Embassy before they process your visa application.
A copy of your maiden speech to Parliament should do it.
Maybe they'll send you a "please explain".
Speaking of which, US authorities could also give Pauline a quick English test just to be on the safe side.
After all she did have this to say last week: "People should speak English and of course they should . . . and that's happening throughout many other countries throughout the world. They say that you must have an understanding of the language of the country – and that's quite feasible." On that basis, the US could ask her the meanings of a few common English words such as xenophobia and insularity. Even if it's just for sheer sport – the answers would be a hoot.
If, after rigorous checking to ensure Pauline isn't a disease-ridden, bomb-throwing, strine-speaking undesirable, she is eventually allowed to visit the land of the free, we trust she will respect local customs, and assimilate (that's the word isn't it?) quickly.
And what better place than Manhattan to assimilate yourself into a dozen different cultures in the one city.
There's Little Italy, Chinatown, the Arab communities of Bay Ridge and Brooklyn, the gay and lesbian scene of Greenwich Village, and of course the African American communities of Harlem just for starters.
All in all a wonderfully rich potpourri of cultures, religions, customs, foods and politics.
Pauline can spend her time "assimilating" into perhaps the most multicultural society on the planet.
And maybe, just maybe, she might learn something.
Though according to her lament over her visa woes at the weekend, she was looking forward to a white Christmas: "I want to enjoy that real Christmas feeling, you don't really get it in Australia."
Memo to Pauline: If you want a truly "white" Christmas, avoid New York, because you might get exposed to cultures and people who undermine your small-minded little dogmas.
Or are you actually not quite as dim-witted as I thought, and this sudden burst of attention-seeking in the media is carefully calculated to generate maximum interest in your forthcoming book – a no-doubt self-serving and revisionist piece of literary bile.
If you do go to Manhattan for Christmas, please stay. I'm sure they'd love to have you. Not.
News Ltd
By Paul Syvret
December 12, 2006 12:00am
UNITED States immigration policy works after all.
The country that brought us Guantanamo Bay, Homeland Security and the Iraq war seems to have got something right at last.
For, in their wisdom, US immigration authorities have apparently decided Australia's serial ratbag, Pauline Hanson, is an undesirable alien. The irony is just beautiful.
In fact I have been smiling all day since reading news reports that the firebrand political failure is having the mother of all battles getting a visa to the US so she can spend Christmas in Manhattan.
This had something to do with her stint in jail for electoral fraud apparently (although, to be fair, her conviction was overturned on appeal – even if her myriad other offences against the fabric of Australian society remain unpunished).
"I was furious when I found out – absolutely furious.
"I might even have to have my fingerprints taken before they will let me in," she said.
Really Pauline?
Is this the same woman who just last week suggested that black South Africans were coming into Orstraya and spreading disease?"We're bringing in people from South Africa at the moment, there's a huge amount coming into Australia, who have diseases, they've got AIDS," she said when announcing she was considering standing as a candidate in the next federal election.
(By the way Pauline, you're either being dumb or disingenuous, but Australian immigration authorities conduct extensive medical checks – including HIV/AIDS screening – as part of any residency application.)
Anyway, on Hanson's logic not only should US Immigration fingerprint her, but probably take blood and tissue samples, and also conduct a full body cavity search for good measure. Can't be too careful when it comes to foreigners after all.
What else was it she said last week? Oh, that's right: "We've got to look very seriously at the people that we bring here, that they will not create social incohesion (sic)."
Good point Pauline.
On that note perhaps I should mail transcripts of some of your more paranoid delusions to the US Embassy before they process your visa application.
A copy of your maiden speech to Parliament should do it.
Maybe they'll send you a "please explain".
Speaking of which, US authorities could also give Pauline a quick English test just to be on the safe side.
After all she did have this to say last week: "People should speak English and of course they should . . . and that's happening throughout many other countries throughout the world. They say that you must have an understanding of the language of the country – and that's quite feasible." On that basis, the US could ask her the meanings of a few common English words such as xenophobia and insularity. Even if it's just for sheer sport – the answers would be a hoot.
If, after rigorous checking to ensure Pauline isn't a disease-ridden, bomb-throwing, strine-speaking undesirable, she is eventually allowed to visit the land of the free, we trust she will respect local customs, and assimilate (that's the word isn't it?) quickly.
And what better place than Manhattan to assimilate yourself into a dozen different cultures in the one city.
There's Little Italy, Chinatown, the Arab communities of Bay Ridge and Brooklyn, the gay and lesbian scene of Greenwich Village, and of course the African American communities of Harlem just for starters.
All in all a wonderfully rich potpourri of cultures, religions, customs, foods and politics.
Pauline can spend her time "assimilating" into perhaps the most multicultural society on the planet.
And maybe, just maybe, she might learn something.
Though according to her lament over her visa woes at the weekend, she was looking forward to a white Christmas: "I want to enjoy that real Christmas feeling, you don't really get it in Australia."
Memo to Pauline: If you want a truly "white" Christmas, avoid New York, because you might get exposed to cultures and people who undermine your small-minded little dogmas.
Or are you actually not quite as dim-witted as I thought, and this sudden burst of attention-seeking in the media is carefully calculated to generate maximum interest in your forthcoming book – a no-doubt self-serving and revisionist piece of literary bile.
If you do go to Manhattan for Christmas, please stay. I'm sure they'd love to have you. Not.
News Ltd